I went through this not long ago and spent a year of reading forums trying to understand what I really needed. My opinion with reasons and not an off-the-cuff comment.
The battle between the Aisin and the 68RFE is an on-going battle that will never resolve. Reading through the various forums there is plenty of negative comments about both transmissions. The Aisin has a PTO, lower gearing in the first couple gears (better if you are going to do a lot of start/stop driving), and a more frequent (and expensive) service interval, it is also a $2,600 option and can pass a bit more torque. The Aisin de-fuels the engine during a shift, this seemed to be a major complaint as was the excessive torque management and no ability to tune if you decided to go that route.
With a 16K pound fiver, you are close to the maximum tow weight and likely payload for an SRW 3500. If 16K is your loaded trailer weight I'd stay with an SRW 68RFE, if you plan on a bigger fiver then a dually for the payload, and based on the size you're looking for pick out the gearing for the tow weight needed. I would think an Aisin would be the better choice once you start towing beyond 20K.
4x4, absolutely. I've found I've needed 4x4 while maneuvering in campgrounds parking the fiver, as mentioned, soft ground, and wet grass will cause rear wheel slip.
I strongly suggest additional options too, rear cargo camera, rear air leveling system, and the fifth wheel prep package.
I ordered an SWR 3500 68RFE 4x4 with rear air leveling, cargo camera, fifth wheel prep , with a 6' bed. If I had to do it over again, the only change I would make is getting the longer bed for the added clearance between the fiver's cap and the truck's cab.
After 2 1/2 years of pulling around a 15,000 pound 40 foot Montana with a SRW 68RFE with 3:42 gears I can say, no problems, plenty of power, in fact, more than what is needed. I can easily reach 70MPH on an acceleration ramp for a merge into traffic with the Montana in tow.