Thanks for all the info and things I read to my understanding was the 2500 was capable of towing 20k. And budget wise I'm trying to stay 50k or less and I have found some good deals for the 2500 between 30k and 42k all with upgraded packages and anywhere from 100k miles to 200k, im trying to stay around the 100k mile point. My concern with looking at the 3500 is only price. Trailer wise we are looking at 38 to 40 foot 5th wheel.
It can "tow 20k" (not really, don't think any 2500 is rated to pull 20k pounds but lets pretend you found one), but it cannot carry the weight of a 20k 5w. So there are 2 limits you need to worry about, what you can pull and what you can carry.
A 5w typically transfers 20 to 25 percent of the weight of the trailer, onto the back of your truck.
A travel trailer (tow behind) typically transfers 10 to 15 percent to your truck
A boat typically transfers 5 to 10 percent.
So depending on the weight of what you're pulling, and the style of the trailer, your trailer cannot actually be towed behind a 2500 even though its rated to pull 20k pounds.
A 20k 5w transfers 4000+ pounds to your truck
A 20k travel trailer transfers 2000+ pounds to your truck
A 20k boat transfers 1000+ pounds to your truck
That's why we're saying you can't pull a 20k 5th wheel, because you'd exceed the second limit, payload, which you also need to stay under.
A 2500/cummins has far less payload (what you can carry) than a 2500/hemi. Which means there may be cases where you can actually tow a trailer with a 6.4 that you cannot tow with a diesel, because the diesel weighs like 800 pounds more than the hemi does, really biting into the payload of your truck.
A 3500/cummins is the better option, or a 2500/hemi, but keep in mind with the hemi the "what you can tow" is significantly less than the diesel.
For a large 5w like you're thinking of, the 3500/cummins is really the best bet. For a smaller 5w weighing 12,000 or less, you can probably get away with a 2500/hemi.