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Let's investigate each individual setting, one at a time. Move the settings back to NO because that's how all the signaling should work.
If you have everything wired, including the relay as per the above drawing, you should hear the relay click as it engages when you switch the cruise on.
You should also be able to measure the COM terminal and see 0 VDC.
When you tap the set switch, the COM terminal should briefly jump to 12 VDC and then fall back to zero.
The above to measurements are with reference to (wrt) ground.
How are those actions working?
.
The relay only clicks when I hit set. Nothing when I turn it on/off
COM has 12v
Br/rd definitely has power at the switch, hard to think I have a bad relay but I’ll try another relay.
Did you see my drawing? It’s exactly like that, which is like yours.
Great advice. Wait…there wasn’t any.My opinion is your way over thinking this........not gonna end well !!! Mechanic for over 40 years.....Not close to being a "parts changer" !!!!