I have read a lot of confusion over what the new 8 speeds can handle as far as larger diameter tires so I decided to through some math out there going over the first gear ratio of each transmission. The first gear in the 8 speed is 4.71 and 3.00 in the 65rfe. Not to insult intelligence but to be clear that means the engine (assuming the TC is fully locked) will turn 4.71/3.00 revolutions for each turn of the output shaft. If you have a diff gear ratio of 3.21 then the output shaft would need to turn 3.21 times for the tires to rotate once. So if you take 4.71X3.21 you get 15.12 engine revolutions for each tire revolution. Now people say that you need 3.92 or high to run larger tires... Here is where I disagree. If you take a 65rfe's first gear of 3.00X3.92 you get 11.76. Jump it up to 4.56 and you get 13.68. That is still under the 15.12 that the 8 speed turns with 3.21. It would take 4.88s to even get close so now I ask... how many think you need at least 4.88s in a 6 speed to run 35" tires. Most would say that is too high but that is effective the same ratio of the 3.21 gears in an 8 speed. Just thought I would be informative. For any one with an 8 speed and 3.21s looking to move up in tire size you will be just fine. Thanks for reading. Any comments or corrections are appreciated.
Now, I understand that you're saying that the 3.21s with the 8 speed are better than the 3.92s with the 5/6 speed and in this case the answer is yes if you compare just the first gear ratio but as Matt has pointed out you have a very quick shifting trans and you will be into 2nd gear very quickly which is a 3.14 ratio and then into 3rd (2.14) and 4th (1.72) which have equivalencies in the 65rfe to 1st (3.0) and 2nd (1.67) and below that you have better combinations in the 5/6 speed over the 8 speed both which end up in a final gear ratio of 0.67 and both will downshift 2 gears to a 1.00 ratio at highway speeds.
At best, the 8speed/3.21s are comparable to the 5/6 speed/3.92s and will suffer the same acceleration degradation when you move up to a larger wheel combo, so your base hypothesis that the norm has changed is incorrect, it has in fact remained the same. A 6 speed/4.56 compared to a 8 speed/3.92 is also comparable through the whole shift schedule and the 8 speed/4.56 is obviously the best combo out there at the moment. If you are getting grief from buddies about having 3.21s then you can tell them it's the exact same as getting the 3.92 combo in the 6 speed but with a better take-off gear. If you plan to just run it on the street with a stock diameter tire then you'll be just fine with the 3.21s.
And to continue the conversation, the math is just fine, but you are now getting into a more indepth discussion that needs to happen if you're going to talk about going to larger tire sizes. Yes, the effective gear ratios you have calculated are correct but there is still a big advantage of going to a higher gear ratio when running larger diameter tires and that is due to one thing: rotating mass.
My stock tires on the OEM 17" wheels weight a total of 65lb each IIRC with the stock 365/70R17 SRAs; that's a total of 260lb that the engine has to turn from the factory. For comparison I'll use a combination that's fairly popular and that's a set of 17x9 Fuel Boost wheels (32lb ea.) and sets of 315/70R17 BFG AT T/A KO2 (65lb ea.) and 35x12.5R17 Nitto TerraGrappler G2s (69.4lb ea.). That is a combo of 97lb and 101.4 with combined weights of 388lb and 405.6lb respectively. As you can see there is a significant increase in the rotating mass (128lb and 145lb respectively) over the stock wheel/tire combo that now needs to be driven, and keep in mind that this is specifically rotating mass. A very common comparison is that adding/removing 1lb of rotating mass is the equivalent of adding/removing 7lb of sprung weight so now that combo difference now becomes an equivalency of 896lb and 1015 plus you have now moved the application length out further which decreases the applied force that the tires will generate.
An easy way to compare that added mass is to throw a quad in the bed of the truck, and aside from how much it sags you will notice a very distinct decrease in how quickly you accelerate. This is now an everyday event because I highly doubt you will be changing the tires anytime soon, big rubber gets expensive! Now, throw a quad in the box and suddenly you start seeing how this can compound issues. If you happen to have a 1 ton to tow then great, you're not going to throw anything heavy into the box, ever, right?
The 8 speed/3.21 combo will be better in the short lived 1st gear but then it's comparable to the 6 speed/3.92 again until it hits 4th gear which will then lag behind as it continues to shift up to 8th with the same final drive ratio between both trans. The reason I bring this up is because of what gears do you normally stay in? On the 6 speed it's 4-6 and in the 8 it's 5-8 where the 6 speed actually has a better ratio combo than the 8 speed. Is the difference significant? not really, and you probably won't even be able to tell the difference between the two. A higher gear ratio is still going to be better if you're going to run larger tires, even with the 8 speed.