Knock on wood, I've used them for 15 years, my last truck had 200000 miles on it when I sold it, all with a k& n air filter. Never had the first problem, no MAF issues or anything.I think you're right, due to improper use people choose to blame the filter for their lack of following instructions.
I have had the S&B CAI with an oiled filter for over four years. I perform cleaning and oil recharge per the manual usually Spring and Fall and have never found any oily residue in my intake tube (I also use a PCV oil catch can so I haven't found any oil in my intake manifold either).
That being said, a K&N drop in is better than the OEM paper filter by an order of magnitude. Although there are better drop-ins than K&N (think green not red).
Your stock air box isn't bad, it sucks colder air from the right fender/wheel well and isn't too obstructive. The real villain however is the articulated intake hose which is easy to install at the assembly line, but doesn't give you laminar airflow, or anything close--lots of turbulence from all the peaks and valleys. CAIs are not essential if you plan to stay stock, a good drop in is probably adequate. However if you plan on headers or other modifications, you may want to consider a CAI (and they are one of the easiest owner installed mods out there).
CAIs like filters are not created equal: open box, or no box filters let in heat saturated air and just make a ton of throttle noise that is poser loud under the hood (IMHO).
There are three enclosed units: S&B, Volant and MOPAR now makes one too. These have huge filters but being enclosed you don't have to listen to conversation killing, music-drowning throttle noise under acceleration. The other popular CAI is the Vararam. It sits on top of the manifold and looks a lot like an old Hemi shaker, especially if you buy it in Hemi orange. It sucks via ducting over the top of the radiator so it gives a ram-air effect. It also isn't stupid loud under the hood.
Again IMHO, the noise should come from your exhaust, not your throttle body sucking and whining.