I know exactly how you feel man. Before I even started drivers Ed. I would spend hours on the computer looking at CTD vids, pics, and some for sale in the area. When it was time to get a vehicle I got a 07 4.7 1500 for graduation from my parents, which I was genuinely happy with. Because I was so obsessed with the 2500 look, I threw on cab lights, tow mirrors, a level, 35's, BW flares, and a brush guard....spent too much money on it. With the finished product, I was really happy with it at first, but after a while it wore off. I wasn't completely happy with it because it wasn't what a wanted it to be...I wanted 8 lugs, 2500 tow hooks, and most importantly the sound of that Cummins.
So before I started on the performance mods, I thought long and hard (shut up) coming to the realization I should just save my money for a real Cummins one day. About half a year later, found my dream truck (2007 5.9 4x4 inferno red QCSB with low miles), saved up a good sum of money, and picked it up. When You think so much and work so hard for something...things happen lol. I've got to say, it was one of the greatest days in my life.
Just wait it out buddy, you'll find yours.