Like you, they gave me so much on trade in that it offset the lack of incentives. I paid MSRP after the dealer marked up the truck by the amount of the 1250 incentive. BUT they gave me so much for my 2015 Outdoorsman with 70K miles that it ended up being a good deal.
My requirements would be sprayed on bedliner but if you can't get it, after market ones are just as good, so don't let that stop you. Anti-slip differential is a priority and does make a difference so get it. And last but not least is the light package. Having driven with and without, it may be the best safety measure you can get imho. Of course we have deer but for anyone, I'd get it.
Everything else is pretty much preference or situation dependent. For example, if you tow, and tow more than 5k, get a 3.92 rear end. AND irrespective, get the tow package if you tow. I did not want a Rambox, utility management system and step, or in particular the multi-function tailgate, but they were part of the packages and the sprayed in bedliner were a part of it. After a month, I am sold on all of them...but that is a preference. For a wife, you might consider them. I almost exclusively use the "barn doors" on the truck now. Not having to throw your body across the tail gate to reach stuff at the transfer station alone is great. Same for groceries, plants and "stuff." I still can use the "regular" tail gate as a work station for driveway projects (most of mine) and like the sheet goods I hauled here a couple weeks ago. When I tow I anticipate NOT having to carefully hold the tailgate so it doesn't bang on the trailer jack as I try to get into the cooler. Looking forward to that.
With the models you are looking at, all the bells and whistles will be covered pretty well you might want.