I was in your same situation: 2016 Ram 1500 w/ 8 speed and 3.21 gears. I was towing a Coleman 2855BH (31'3" and about 6,000 dry). I like taking long trips, and I just wasn't comfortable doing it with the 1500 as I couldn't get the load in spec on my rear axle. I was over GAWR by about 300#. I finally pulled the trigger on my 2019 2500 with the 6.4 and 3.73 because they finally put the 8HP75 in it. The 1500 pulled it, but it just felt like it was working all the time. For perspective, I had 34" A/T E-rated tires, Airlift 1000 airbags, and Blue Ox Swaypro hitch.
I used the 1500 to go to Quebec and back and it wasn't bad, the truck just needed to run in the higher rpms. For short trips, the 1500 was fine, but for long trips, I didn't like it.
I towed from NH to Badlands, SD and back over the summer with the Coleman and my 2500. I don't have my CAT slip in front of me to tell you the weight, but I estimate around 13,500 combined. The truck pulled well, but I got to hating the bumper pull trailer because of the handling. The wind really made it tiring driving past the great lakes and the nasty roads made it very tiring. I upgraded to a 5w this year after that trip and it's sooooo much easier to tow and I get similar fuel mileage towing the 5w (9500# dry) as I did towing the Coleman, about high 8 to low 9 mpg by evic. My average was skewed on my 4500 mile trip to Badlands because of a lot of unhooked mileage touring the Badlands as well as 80-90mph commutes between towns on the highway.
I have a Tradesman which gives me 14k+ towing and 3100+ payload. I won't go heavier than my current 5w because I don't want to pull over 12k with a gas truck, I think on long trips, it's just asking a lot. I searched for quite a while to find a 5w with the floor plan I wanted that was under 10k dry- I have a "half ton towable".
My feedback is this: The 2500 certainly is a different animal than the 1500. The 1500 feels sporty empty but unwieldy when loaded down. The 2500 feels like a hd truck, but when you step on it, it's eager to get up and go. It won't hesitate to leave a nice set of 11's behind if you goose it. It tows much better and at lower rpm's than the 1500. The majority of the time I can stay around 2000-2500 rpms's towing my 5w between southern NH and Acadia National Park, ME. I'm very happy with the truck and wouldn't hesitate to do it again. If I had the extra money laying around I would love a diesel truck, but there is absolutely no need for it in my circumstances. The 3.73 gears and the 8HP75 are a nice pairing; I'm not sure what the real world difference is with the 4.10's but I doubt it's enough to substantiate the 2500# difference between the two.