Abel Components locker bypass is what you want. You can find his info over on Power Wagon Registry. It allows you to use the lockers regardless of 2WD or 4WD using the factory switches, and he also has a swaybar bypass available as well which will allow you to disconnect that as you wish. I have the locker bypass on my truck and it has been fantastic for years.
There is no way to disable the nannies in AlfaOBD or anything else, as those things are controlled by the electronics in the SmartBar swaybar module and there is no way to access the information on that module directly. The only effective way is to bypass that module.
Edit;
My bad, res’d a dead post.